Trump, Bitches!

Donald “The Donald” Trump is finally running for President of these United States (of Parody, I guess). This is, hands down, the best news for comedians since Banana peels were invented. Trump is a mashup of rigorous stupidity, vacuous pomposity, turgid speech and grand egotism on a scale never seen before. His bloviations on Immigration and trade are ridiculous and racist. His C.V. is laughable (he drove a casino into bankruptcy! Who does that? Really, who loses money with a casino?). He is a parody of a game show host and nothing more.

That being said, I want to run his campaign. His slogan should be:

TRUMP, BITCHES!

This would be emblazoned over that photo of a raccoon standing on the back of an alligator. No explanation given, none needed.

His running mate should be Lindsey Graham (R – Narnia). Graham can wax eloquently about how he longs to bomb Iran to glass and preserve the beauty and tradition of the Confederacy while Trump demands that Mexico build a fence to keep America out.

Trump, Bitches!

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